Tips on what to do with Scary Books

Amy Meyer
Parents and teachers have all encountered a situation where a child has read, heard, or seen something scary. For some readers, a big dose of scary is fun! For other children, consuming media that is too scary can cause too much fear. We help our students wade through the “scary stuff” throughout the year, but dealing with frightening literature has become a hot topic this Halloween season.
 
When our children want to read something scary, we all must do our part in helping them find developmentally appropriate and individually acceptable books. Every child has a different threshold for suspense and horror. Some children love to read about friendly monsters, and some prefer their monsters to be more sinister. Aliens and paranormal topics can be completely benign for some, yet might terrify others. Some books are too mature for our young readers, and there are readers of all ages who simply do not want to feel scared. It is very important to give our children a sense of ownership in their reading lives and allow them to explore if they are curious, but we also must remember to help and protect each child along the way.
 
It is inevitable that, at some point, every child will consume media that will scare him or her. What kind of conversation do we have with the child when this happens? There are a few things to keep in mind:

Consider the perspective of your child.
An adult and a child may have completely different notions about what a book or movie is about. Make sure to take the time to really understand what was scary--was it a picture, a violent scene, a scary voice, or something else? Oftentimes, children become frightened because they misunderstand (or only partially understand) something. Clarifying and explaining can go a long way in alleviating their fear.

Control your reaction.
We all know how the saying goes: “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.” Of course we want to comfort the children and process a frightening thought together. If we respond to something scary with an oversized reaction, we are giving that fear too much power. If we adults cannot calmly address fear, how can we expect our children to?

Give Choices.
When a child is told that a book, genre, or subject is completely banned, the child wants it even more! It is tempting to avoid problems by telling a chapter book reader that Goosebumps is off limits. The children must be permitted to try different things, develop, and grow!
We also must remember to give the child a choice to opt out. I read a scary book aloud to the Upper Schoolers every fall, and I always remind the students that they may choose to read their own book instead of listening to me. Sometimes a book can suddenly or unexpectedly become too scary, and the students know that they have the choice to step away!
 
 
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Harbor Day School is a co-educational private independent K-8 school established in 1952.