Bruh: an Ode to Middle School Parents

If you’re currently living with a middle schooler, you may have noticed that the child who once popped out of bed at 6:00 a.m. eager to get to school now requires three alarms, a pep talk, and what feels like a formal negotiation. After school, instead of an enthusiastic detailed recap of every moment, you’re greeted with “fine,” “bruh!,” or a dramatic sigh that suggests the day was both exhausting and classified.

The carefree days of lower school have been replaced with heavier homework, semester exams, and slang that requires subtitles. If your home has shifted from a cheerful Disney storyline to something closer to a reality survival show, take a deep breath—you haven’t lost your parenting touch, and they haven’t lost their minds. You’ve simply entered the middle school years.

The truth is, middle school is supposed to feel like a bit of a grind. It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s rarely graceful. In fact, it’s downright awkward. But that friction your child is experiencing? That’s a sign of growth.

This is one of the most intense developmental phases that humans face—cognitively, emotionally, and socially. Students suddenly become hyper-aware of where they fit in. Many are convinced everyone else has life perfectly curated while they alone missed the memo. It’s uncomfortable to watch as a parent, but that discomfort serves a powerful purpose. It’s preparing them for high school and for life beyond it.

Complexity breeds competence in these years. Moving from one homeroom teacher to six academic teachers requires a significant leap in executive functioning. Students must juggle different expectations, teaching styles, deadlines, and academic demands—often while trying to remember where they put their Stanley water bottle. Add in the daily navigation of friendships and the ever-changing “cool” factor, and it’s no wonder they’re tired.

Independence is a muscle. When they push boundaries, question every rule, or insist they “already know,” they are practicing for the day they’ll navigate the world without parents. It’s developmentally appropriate, even if it makes morning carpool overly stressful.

As parents, it can be hard. We’re wired to protect and to fix. But middle school is part of the long game of development. If it feels difficult, it’s because they’re learning new skills. Growth and comfort rarely coexist. While it’s tempting to rescue every forgotten assignment or smooth over every social bump, allowing them to manage challenges now lets them feel responsibility while the stakes are still relatively low and the safety net of home is firmly in place. 

Remember, they push boundaries to see if those boundaries hold. Your steady presence is their anchor, even when they act like they’d rather be anywhere else. Middle school is messy, moody, and often exhausting. But every hard day they navigate and every packed schedule they manage is building the toolkit they’ll need for the future.

Stay strong, parents. You’ve got this.